Ah, the Phineas and Ferb christmas special playing in the background. The fireplace warming the house. The gifts sitting on the counter...unwrapped and refusing to wrap themselves. Ugh.
I hope a lot of things for Taylor. And some of them are selfish. I hope she feels certain things about me when she's older. I picture her talking to her friends in college, over coffee at some patchouli and coffee smelling coffee shop near her campus during December finals. I picture them talking about their homes during the holidays, in anticipation of coming home for Christmas. I hope there are certain things she says about me, with love and respect and admiration. I hope that when I bake cookies every year, and make brunch on Christmas mornings that she remembers that with nostalgia. I always remember the jammies on Christmas eve, the sausage and cheese biscuits for breakfast, Mom and Scott waking us up at 5 am when we were older and wanting to sleep in, calling Uncle Bill every single year at the crack of dawn and waking him up, the fruit at the bottom of the stocking that no one ever ate or wanted, the awesome amount of baked goods that mom whipped up for an entire month, how there were always piles of presents, even during a "hard" year, the fact that she always gave presents to her coworkers and really took time to think of good ones...
What will Taylor remember about me? What will our traditions be? Will she think wistfully about homemade eggnog (dare I try it? lol), or the best french toast casserole for brunch (her gram's recipe), or those delicious cinnamon nut diamonds (her nanny's recipe), or that rich and delicious fudge that her grammy makes? Will she remember daddy and Uncle Delmo watching the Christmas Day football game? Will she think of driving around and looking at the christmas lights? Whatever it is, I hope that Christmas for her is everything that it is for me. I hope it holds all the magic and wonder and joy for her that it does for me. I hope it's about so much more than what she gets from Santa.
I have always been a person that looks forward to things, that gets excited a lot. With Taylor in my life, that feeling is truly multiplied by a trillion. I really look forward to this Christmas with her, and the next one, and the next one....Every day is magical and a new opportunity to make memories. Every day is truly extraordinary with her. I can't wait for Adam to come home and be able to experience the every day. For now, to him, we are just this fantasy. We are his family a billion miles away, and we are idealized. But, don't worry baby. The sticking of hands in toilet water and then into her mouth (like this morning), the tasting of dog treats before handing them to Sadie, the downright throwing of herself onto the floor in protest of water going into her juice cup...it's all going to be great. And frustrating, all at once. Just thinking of her awkwardness in trying to fit herself in between the legs of the stool and getting stuck, and walking around in just one of my heels on the wrong foot, and dipping her spoon into yogurt and then chicken soup all in one bite and thoroughly enjoying it...the stuff that dreams are made of....
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