So I avoided posting yesterday, because I knew it would be super negative and frustrated. This weekend has...been a challenge...This weekend has given me several opportunities to hone my patience...This weekend, I failed to do so in more cases than not. Poor Taylor. She hasn't really done anything other than be a curious, active, inquisitive toddler; but let me tell you!
Today, for example; as I am trying to make parmesan crusted chicken for dinner, she reaches up onto the counter and pulls the bowl of beaten egg down and spills the entire thing on the floor. I lost it. Needless to say, she sat for a few minutes in time out with a drop of egg on her face (lol for more reasons than one) while I cleaned it up. I yelled louder than I ever have, and scared her half to death the poor thing. It must have been comical and sad all at once -me yelling and screaming, trying to tell her why I am yelling and screaming - and her crying and running away because I am scary. I really was like, yelling the explanation of her time out; which I ususally say in an even toned voice, so I'm sure it had no effect. And here I am going, "do you understand? do you understand what I'm telling you?" Of course she doesn't.
I wasn't proud. I was ashamed and regretful. But, what if it was something really hot? She would have burned herself badly. Hopefully, I've scared the curiosity about the kitchen counter out of her. But, unfortunately, I don't want to scare her. I want to teach her. I think I am just on edge about Adam coming home. I want the house to be right, and everything to be ready. I want to be prepared and think of everything he might need or want. I am totally obsessing and stressing out. Tomorrow, after I visit Brazil for a painful, agonizing hour or so....I will stop stressing. I will be excited, and ready and happy and having a wonderful day with my beautiful, curious, willful, wonderful toddler.
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