Ah, I feel better about myself actually writing the blog on the right day. So the Little Gym class was so awesome today! I think Taylor's favorite activity is to walk. She got in there and was off! She really just wanted to walk around the gym the entire time. I had a blast. I was wondering what they would do with small children just learning to walk, and they really did impress me with the different number of activities that they did. I was most proud when the balls came out. Taylor walked right over, grabbed a ball and immediately took it and put it in the basketball hoop. We don't even have one of those. Nor do we watch basketball. She's destined for greatness. Such a genius. After the Little Gym, Taylor was exhausted. We went to Safeway, and Sabrina and Delmo got some stuff and then back to their house we all went. We had omlettes, and strawberries. By this time, Taylor was ridiculous. So, I, also exhausted, went upstairs with her and we took a nap. It was almost 12:45 when we fell asleep, and I woke up before her at 3! She didn't wake up until like 3:15!!! We had a snack, and packed up to come home.
At home, I tried to give her some chicken and string cheese for dinner; but she shared most of it with Sadie. It was such a beautiful day today, and considering her long nap, I thought a trip across the street to the park was in order. It's great, because they have a small 2-5 year old section for little wubbas. We went and played for an hour or so. She loves the slides. They have one that is two slides next to each other, so she and I can both slide down and I can hold her hand. It was super cool. My plan must've worked, because she was crankston hughes when we got home and went to bed about a 1/2 hour earlier than normal. Poor sleepy mayter. I'm glad, though, that she got a bunch of outdoor and exercise time today.
I knew there'd be a bunch of other moms, their silently judging eyes at the park, so I brought a banana and water with me. I was content and thinking I was beyond reproach until I realized that I didn't bring wipes to wipe hands before eating the banana and faces afterwards. Oh, well. Alas, I am not perfect suburban mommy. Just as good, because I wouldn't want Taylor to have to try to live up to that. lol
Monday, August 31, 2009
30Aug2009 - Day 24
Well, I am officially mad with myself. Last night, I went to bed without writing my blog or brushing my teeth. Nevermind it was 230am and we had our first Little Gym class at 915am. Yesterday, we went to breakfast with Rylee at IHOP. (I am obsessed) and then home to cook dinner for the Delmos. I made curried chicken with cauliflower. It was pretty good. Too spicy for the wubba, who cried, and reached out for me. I gave her some milk out of a big girl cup and she chugged it!
And of course, Adam had last called on Friday night after I'd gone to bed with my wicked awful headache. In transit, he had said. So didn't hear from him yesterday. We had a few drinks after dinner, and mostly talked about what we'd do with the money if we won the mega millions. I should play in order to win, though. I buy a ticket here and there; but not too often. Well, a lot of the family and friends wouldn't have to work if I won $333million.
Well, now I'm too excited to get to today's blog...so...
And of course, Adam had last called on Friday night after I'd gone to bed with my wicked awful headache. In transit, he had said. So didn't hear from him yesterday. We had a few drinks after dinner, and mostly talked about what we'd do with the money if we won the mega millions. I should play in order to win, though. I buy a ticket here and there; but not too often. Well, a lot of the family and friends wouldn't have to work if I won $333million.
Well, now I'm too excited to get to today's blog...so...
Saturday, August 29, 2009
29Aug2009 - Day 23
I'm thinking I may join C.A. Cupcakes Anonymous. I baked another "round" today. I think I've eaten 4. Even as I write this, I'm embarrassed. I can see all the judging looks as it's being read. Well, at least everyone will feel better about themselves knowing they didn't eat 4 cupcakes. On the upside, they were made with egg whites only. lol, who am I kidding? Rylee came over for dinner and we watched Twilight, and read People magazine. I just love our girl time. It was only ruined by Sadie's foul rotten tuna or rotten girl bits breath. It really smells as though she swallowed a tuna, and it never digested. And she doesn't breathe very lightly. It's more of a fat man that can't chew and breathe at once type of breathing. Plus, she kept farting on us.
The day of today was pretty good though. Try as I could to just let the house be messy and just relax and watch tv...I had to at least do dishes, laundry, clean the downstairs toilet and put away the clean laundry. I just can't relax with all that going on around me. And besides, who else would do it?
Even with that thrown in intermittently throughout the morning, it was still relaxing. It was gray and cool and raining, which is very comforting. It grows from annoying to expected to comforting and relaxing when you live in a place where there is so much rain. It's an excuse to hang out inside and not get dressed and lay on the couch. It was amazing though, because I was able to watch Taylor in full on destruction mode. I don't know how Darina's house is not totally torn apart when I get there every day. She can toss an entire room in less than 3 minutes. Now, she's learned how to open our dresser drawers. Thank goodness it wasn't as interesting as the laundry basket full of hangers. I'm also super grossed out by the fact that she keeps "eating" dog food. Rylee totally called it today, though. She only insists on going to the food because she gets my attention immediately. And we play the mommy-sits-taylor-down-and-taylor-stands-back-up game. At least, that's what I'm sure it is to her. So, tomorrow. I will totally ignore it every time (which will be torture) she goes to the dog bowl. What makes me think that Rylee is correct is that she never actually eats the dog food. She just puts it in her mouth and spits it out in my hand when I ask her to. What I can't quite understand is...well, a few things.
1. Why does she want my attention, literally ALL the time?
2. Why doesn't she get that I'm mad? 3-whatever. Why is it funny to her? Where is my mommy look that is supposed to work? Why doesn't yelling scare or intimidate her? Why doesn't NOT yelling scare or intimidate her? Why does she insist on fake eating dog food? Does she like the flavor? Would she eat it if she could chew it more easily? And I thought "no" was supposed to be one of her first few words. I think she has no clue what "no" means. She never listens to it, or attempts to say it. Instead, she says complicated two-syllable words like "outside"????!!!
This small person, who literally clings to my legs after 6:30pm every night, and who runs from me outside when I call her, and who can say "all done" when she's done eating, but usually chooses to throw food on the floor instead, is a total paradox and mystery to me. I don't get it at all. I need the handbook! WHY ISN'T THERE A HANDBOOK!!!!
The day of today was pretty good though. Try as I could to just let the house be messy and just relax and watch tv...I had to at least do dishes, laundry, clean the downstairs toilet and put away the clean laundry. I just can't relax with all that going on around me. And besides, who else would do it?
Even with that thrown in intermittently throughout the morning, it was still relaxing. It was gray and cool and raining, which is very comforting. It grows from annoying to expected to comforting and relaxing when you live in a place where there is so much rain. It's an excuse to hang out inside and not get dressed and lay on the couch. It was amazing though, because I was able to watch Taylor in full on destruction mode. I don't know how Darina's house is not totally torn apart when I get there every day. She can toss an entire room in less than 3 minutes. Now, she's learned how to open our dresser drawers. Thank goodness it wasn't as interesting as the laundry basket full of hangers. I'm also super grossed out by the fact that she keeps "eating" dog food. Rylee totally called it today, though. She only insists on going to the food because she gets my attention immediately. And we play the mommy-sits-taylor-down-and-taylor-stands-back-up game. At least, that's what I'm sure it is to her. So, tomorrow. I will totally ignore it every time (which will be torture) she goes to the dog bowl. What makes me think that Rylee is correct is that she never actually eats the dog food. She just puts it in her mouth and spits it out in my hand when I ask her to. What I can't quite understand is...well, a few things.
1. Why does she want my attention, literally ALL the time?
2. Why doesn't she get that I'm mad? 3-whatever. Why is it funny to her? Where is my mommy look that is supposed to work? Why doesn't yelling scare or intimidate her? Why doesn't NOT yelling scare or intimidate her? Why does she insist on fake eating dog food? Does she like the flavor? Would she eat it if she could chew it more easily? And I thought "no" was supposed to be one of her first few words. I think she has no clue what "no" means. She never listens to it, or attempts to say it. Instead, she says complicated two-syllable words like "outside"????!!!
This small person, who literally clings to my legs after 6:30pm every night, and who runs from me outside when I call her, and who can say "all done" when she's done eating, but usually chooses to throw food on the floor instead, is a total paradox and mystery to me. I don't get it at all. I need the handbook! WHY ISN'T THERE A HANDBOOK!!!!
Friday, August 28, 2009
28Aug2009 - Day 22
Worst headache of my life since it woke me up at 5:30 this morning. Going to bed. More about this tomorrow.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
27Aug2009 - Day 21
When it's really quiet in the house, and Taylor is asleep, and the monitor sensitivity is turned all the way up, I love it. I can hear her breathing. Full, deep, peaceful, totally asleep breaths. It brings me such piece of mind. I don't know if it's that she's totally asleep and safe. I don't know if it's that she is able to sleep so soundly, like how children do. Like how they sometimes just fall asleep in the living room on the floor, or can be carried around totally asleep. I don't know if it's thinking of all the little tiggers and puppies and playgrounds that I imagine her dreaming of.
The monotony of the every day is starting to wear on me. Nevermind, that this week I'm particularly sensitive. When Taylor goes to bed, there's nothing worthwhile. I do laundry, clean up a bit, watch tv, surf the internet, write my blog...but it's generally the same. There's nothing left to look at online. The shows just remind me that I'd rather not be sitting there watching them. I'm not a busy body, or extremely high energy. But I like to be busy. I liked having Adam here to talk to, joke with, even just to watch tv with. I remember thinking just before Adam left that I was excited about time alone. Now, it's become a sort of cloud hanging over my head and raining on me all day. It follows me around, and it's inescapable. Even when I am with friends, with Taylor, I know it will end and then it will be thursday night at 10:30pm and I'll be dog tired, with a headache from clenching my jaw together all day, and my cuticles will be so torn from chewing on them that they'll sting as I type. Just enough to remind me that they're not how they should be. Not enough to really hurt. More of an annoyance. But I can't let go and go to sleep. It's no relief anyway, lately. I wake up with stomach muscles feeling like I've been doing situps all night, legs like I've been running. I'm not sleeping well because I'm in knots, I'm in bigger knots because I'm not sleeping well. And then, it's 10:30pm on thursday night, and it's been another week. Nothing has happened. Nothing is different. I just sit wondering where my extraordinary has gone. I vowed to find a way every day, and today was extraordinary. But, I just can't see it anymore.
I'm almost obsessive in my thinking about the cruise. It's like, as long as I have that to look forward to, I will be ok. But, today was not extraordinary. I keep counting the ordinary days until my extraordinary cruise. I keep forgetting that today is the day I was waiting for. Today is the day I want to remember. Today was an extraordinary day! Today, I will remember that perfect breathing. That perfect breathing is truly extraordinary.
The monotony of the every day is starting to wear on me. Nevermind, that this week I'm particularly sensitive. When Taylor goes to bed, there's nothing worthwhile. I do laundry, clean up a bit, watch tv, surf the internet, write my blog...but it's generally the same. There's nothing left to look at online. The shows just remind me that I'd rather not be sitting there watching them. I'm not a busy body, or extremely high energy. But I like to be busy. I liked having Adam here to talk to, joke with, even just to watch tv with. I remember thinking just before Adam left that I was excited about time alone. Now, it's become a sort of cloud hanging over my head and raining on me all day. It follows me around, and it's inescapable. Even when I am with friends, with Taylor, I know it will end and then it will be thursday night at 10:30pm and I'll be dog tired, with a headache from clenching my jaw together all day, and my cuticles will be so torn from chewing on them that they'll sting as I type. Just enough to remind me that they're not how they should be. Not enough to really hurt. More of an annoyance. But I can't let go and go to sleep. It's no relief anyway, lately. I wake up with stomach muscles feeling like I've been doing situps all night, legs like I've been running. I'm not sleeping well because I'm in knots, I'm in bigger knots because I'm not sleeping well. And then, it's 10:30pm on thursday night, and it's been another week. Nothing has happened. Nothing is different. I just sit wondering where my extraordinary has gone. I vowed to find a way every day, and today was extraordinary. But, I just can't see it anymore.
I'm almost obsessive in my thinking about the cruise. It's like, as long as I have that to look forward to, I will be ok. But, today was not extraordinary. I keep counting the ordinary days until my extraordinary cruise. I keep forgetting that today is the day I was waiting for. Today is the day I want to remember. Today was an extraordinary day! Today, I will remember that perfect breathing. That perfect breathing is truly extraordinary.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
26Aug2009 - Day 20
Well, I keep messing up the dates! This is the real August 26th. lol This explains always wishing people happy birthday on the wrong day!
A relatively uneventful day. Slow day at work, but Taylor was a blast today.
She's got a new word: "outside."
There's also a new video of her on youtube.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIPI3E34-v8
It's really long but has some pretty funny parts. Please don't judge our hungover butts. LOL We don't usually sit on the couch and get Taylor to dance like a monkey for us. Usually, I dance with her. We played a lot tonight. I found her tickle spot, and she liked to be tickled and when I stopped tickling her little belly, she'd put my hand back on her belly to tickle her some more. She's understanding so much, lately. I can tell her to come here, or walk inside the garage from the car, or to give something to someone and she does it.
Our cruise is getting closer, and as it nears I feel more and more excitement and anticipation but also more anxiety. I'm a little worried about bedtime, and I've been told that the front desk girls will offer babysitting when they aren't working for an hourly rate. But I'm so nervous about that. No one besides close friends, family and Darina has ever looked after her. I know that they'll only be hanging out in our room while she's sleeping; but I know I'll still be constantly checking on her. Still, I am excited. Especially because it will be really cool to have our private verrandah when we go through the glacier areas. I keep checking the weather for Juneau, AK and since mid July the 10 day forecast has been 60 degrees and raining. Ahh, just like home here in Washington in September.
I really miss Adam, today. I feel as though she's starting to learn so quickly. I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up with telling him everything. I want so badly for him to be a part of our life, even if he is 9,000 miles away. So, we'll keep making videos and I'll keep blogging everything I can remember from the day!
We love you daddy! Night Night!
A relatively uneventful day. Slow day at work, but Taylor was a blast today.
She's got a new word: "outside."
There's also a new video of her on youtube.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIPI3E34-v8
It's really long but has some pretty funny parts. Please don't judge our hungover butts. LOL We don't usually sit on the couch and get Taylor to dance like a monkey for us. Usually, I dance with her. We played a lot tonight. I found her tickle spot, and she liked to be tickled and when I stopped tickling her little belly, she'd put my hand back on her belly to tickle her some more. She's understanding so much, lately. I can tell her to come here, or walk inside the garage from the car, or to give something to someone and she does it.
Our cruise is getting closer, and as it nears I feel more and more excitement and anticipation but also more anxiety. I'm a little worried about bedtime, and I've been told that the front desk girls will offer babysitting when they aren't working for an hourly rate. But I'm so nervous about that. No one besides close friends, family and Darina has ever looked after her. I know that they'll only be hanging out in our room while she's sleeping; but I know I'll still be constantly checking on her. Still, I am excited. Especially because it will be really cool to have our private verrandah when we go through the glacier areas. I keep checking the weather for Juneau, AK and since mid July the 10 day forecast has been 60 degrees and raining. Ahh, just like home here in Washington in September.
I really miss Adam, today. I feel as though she's starting to learn so quickly. I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up with telling him everything. I want so badly for him to be a part of our life, even if he is 9,000 miles away. So, we'll keep making videos and I'll keep blogging everything I can remember from the day!
We love you daddy! Night Night!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
26Aug2009 - Day 19
Today, Taylor drank from a glass for the first time by herself. No sippy top, no straw, just her two little hands wrapped around the glass and six little teeth clanging on the glass as she tried to eat the water from the glass at first. We spent the day at the Delmos, me recovering from my bottle of malibu last night, her just hangin' around doin with she does. I did leave to go get my hair done today, which made me feel about 3000% less stressed than I did beforehand. It always does. It feels good to take care of yourself and look good. I also weighed myself, and am at my pre-pregnancy weight! All my old jeans fit again! After my appointment, we napped and then ate leftover meatloaf, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese and green beans from last night's dinner. Taylor has developed a fondness for cottage cheese, which totally reminds me of being little at my Pop-Pop's house. He always had cottage cheese and it was always yummy. It's one of those things that I really like but it never sounds good. But now that I now she loves it, I will buy it and we can eat it because it's good for us.
I am looking forward to spending Sunday nights with the Delmos starting next week because of Taylor's classes at the Little Gym. We'll definitely video tape them. I can't wait for us all to share football season together, and really yummy dinners, and the dogs can all play. It will definitely be a bright spot in a usually dreary, long, tough week. It was so nice not to be the one to do every single thing Taylor needed. It's also nice to be able to hand Taylor her pj's and tell her "give to aunt sabrina" and have her walk over and give them to her to put on her. I was so excited and proud that she understood me.
There was one bump in the road last night, though. Bedtime. For the first time every, bedtime was really rough. I tried to put her down and she started screaming crying like I've never heard before. I tried the leave and let her cry it out technique. She didn't seem to settle at all, so I went back up and should have listened at the door before I walked in because as I walked in, I saw she had totally calmed down in the 1/2 a minute it took me to walk upstairs. So I layed her down, and told her night night but as I left the crying was worse than ever. I went downstairs and stayed until even Delmo said I should try again. I was gonna stay downstairs because I'd made it worse; but I went back up. I picked her up right away, and right away she calmed a bit. She was visibly exhausted, though. So I held her and rocked her and kissed and soflty talked her to sleep. Every time she fell asleep, I'd try to set her in the playpen and she'd start to cry. So I laid her on the bed and laid next to her. She fell into dreamland, so I barracaded her in with pillows and moved her after we'd eaten dinner. Poor little wubba. She was so uncomfortable. I felt terrible. I'll need to make sure to at least stick to familiar routine things with her while we are there until she is comfortable sleeping there. It does make me a bit nervous about the cruise; but I will do my best to make my wubba happy.
I am looking forward to spending Sunday nights with the Delmos starting next week because of Taylor's classes at the Little Gym. We'll definitely video tape them. I can't wait for us all to share football season together, and really yummy dinners, and the dogs can all play. It will definitely be a bright spot in a usually dreary, long, tough week. It was so nice not to be the one to do every single thing Taylor needed. It's also nice to be able to hand Taylor her pj's and tell her "give to aunt sabrina" and have her walk over and give them to her to put on her. I was so excited and proud that she understood me.
There was one bump in the road last night, though. Bedtime. For the first time every, bedtime was really rough. I tried to put her down and she started screaming crying like I've never heard before. I tried the leave and let her cry it out technique. She didn't seem to settle at all, so I went back up and should have listened at the door before I walked in because as I walked in, I saw she had totally calmed down in the 1/2 a minute it took me to walk upstairs. So I layed her down, and told her night night but as I left the crying was worse than ever. I went downstairs and stayed until even Delmo said I should try again. I was gonna stay downstairs because I'd made it worse; but I went back up. I picked her up right away, and right away she calmed a bit. She was visibly exhausted, though. So I held her and rocked her and kissed and soflty talked her to sleep. Every time she fell asleep, I'd try to set her in the playpen and she'd start to cry. So I laid her on the bed and laid next to her. She fell into dreamland, so I barracaded her in with pillows and moved her after we'd eaten dinner. Poor little wubba. She was so uncomfortable. I felt terrible. I'll need to make sure to at least stick to familiar routine things with her while we are there until she is comfortable sleeping there. It does make me a bit nervous about the cruise; but I will do my best to make my wubba happy.
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