Monday, December 21, 2009

21Dec2009 - Day 136

Lately, I've been feeling this new feeling. It's quite jarring, and comes about me so quickly that I sometimes have to catch my breath. I'll hear a song that I really like, particularly the Paramore song that was in Twilight, and I'll remember the book and movie and get really sad. It's like, suddenly I am aware that I am no longer young. Suddenly, I realize that chapter in my life is totally over and, while I love my life, I am really sad. I'm not really cool anymore, not wild anymore...I'm someone's mom. Even if I wanted to be cool, I'm still (and this hurts) old. I have spent so much time waiting to be a full fledged adult, and longing to be treated with respect as one, and not just some dumb teenager or young kid...and now. Wow. Suddenly, I wish to go back. I wish to shirk all responsibility and just be.
Alas, stress rears its ugly head in the form of nostalgia for the times when stress was...what party to go to after work.
I've been trying to have a quiet, stress free christmas. But it isn't. For some reason, I just can't get all my shopping done and it's really annoying that it's never ending. I love Taylor, but taking her christmas shopping is the most frustrating thing ever. I want to run around, here and there, in and out, quickly selecting things. Not so much with her. There are diapers to be changed, she eats a lot more than me, walks very slow, in and out of the car lugging the diaper bag, and finding a cart, and trying to maneuver a cart through crowded stores. When she's not with me, I'm usually with Sabrina, which slows me down because we get talking and walking and eating lunch.
Nothing about my time since coming home has been in any way organized or efficient. I try to maintain order, deal with the clutter. I am just so tired of doing it all by myself. I find myself up until at least midnight every single night and the same three baskets of laundry still sit in the living room. They're half folded because Taylor literally undoes everything I do. If I put it away, she pulls it out and then proceeds to scatter it throughout the entire house. If I fold it, she unfolds it and throws it on the floor. If I put the dog food in the bowl on the floor, she scatters it all over the floor. I spend my entire day running around behind her scolding and teaching and cleaning up. Otherwise, she is attached to my leg crying and whining to be picked up or throwing herself on the floor in frustration at "no more cookies." It seems as though she has suddenly become a negative, tantrum throwing, reaching and grabbing, climbing, angry, irritating toddler. I don't know when or why it happened, but it surely did.
We are going to Marzano's for dinner on Wednesday, and I am actually paying Darina to watch her for a few more hours so I can enjoy a dinner without her. I don't enjoy eating out with her. If she sits down, she must eat immediately, and when she is done...we better be done.
Saturday, Rylee and I went to cheesecake factory for lunch. We were sat in one of those tables that's half booth, half chairs. They are close together, and offer little privacy or protection from bread throwing toddlers. Thank goodness the couple next to us was understanding. The part that mortified me was when they received their slices of cheesecake covered in whipped cream. Taylor took her spoon and reached towards it saying "peese?" "peese?" I cringed and apologized to the man while pulling her back in and trying to explain that it wasn't her cheesecake. He took his spoon and gave her some whipped cream. She was thrilled, and I wanted to just melt into my chair and disappear. Then, loving it, she said "more?" "more?" I could have cried. Despite all efforts to explain that hers was coming and to leave him alone, I did not prevail. He gave her a few spoonfuls, thinking she was adorable. I just found it totally innappropriate and mortifying. I know my father would have lost it. I can see the look in his eyes now.
I was also kind of annoyed that he gave in to her, because I want to teach her that other people's food is not for her; but I was totally unsure of what to say in the situation. Next time, I will (falsely) explain that she is lactose intolerant or allergic to whatever it is they have.
I also think that not writing my blog regularly has contributed to my stress. I need the outlet. It makes me feel a lot better to write about everything, especially my single mommy frustrations. I have to give my hats off to those mothers that do this for years on end. I can't imagine what I would do if it was just me...gulp...for-e-ver (see the Sandlot for proper pronunciation of forever).
Tomorrow, I am off, and Darina is not. I will shop and finish my last minute things, eat honey baked ham sandwiches for lunch, and enjoy my toddler free time. I love you Taylor, and can't wait to miss you tomorrow!

20Dec2009 - Day 135

At least ten dozen cookies, of two different varieties, 84 mini cheesecakes (involving twice baking, and twice chilling, then topping), 3 full baskets of laundry, recycling day, litterbox cleaning day, trash going out day, house totally cluttered by toys....later. (oh, and a spaghetti casserole, and a trip to the commissary and the bank)
exhaustion.
goodnight.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

15Dec2009 - Day 130

Today was one of those super challenging days. Last night, Darina called to say that she was taking her husband to the airport today to return to Iraq and that she needed the day off. It was really short notice, but I understand that she didn't realize the gravity of her feelings until the time of reckoning was upon her. So, I asked both Rylee and Sabrina but both were working; which is crappy because usually they are both off on Tuesdays. (well, every day for preggers Rylee) So, I reluctantly told Darina that I needed backup care, which meant that she'd find another caregiver in their system with an available infant slot for Taylor. I have never used backup care, and was super nervous about having to take Taylor to some woman's home for the day whom I'd never met. Granted, she was certified and regulated by the same people as Darina; but I had never met her. I got her contact information from Darina when I got a call about work. Apparently, they were going to schedule another bartender with me on Thursday and Friday at noon. Great, another uncomfortable conversation to have tomorrow at work. I don't mind having someone there with me from 12-2 when they were possibly needed; but I know there is no need for 2 of us from 2-4 and I surely didn't work and pay my dues to be cut early and lose money during the holiday season. Needless to say, today was not looking good.
I woke up, and we made our way to the house of the sitter for the day. Good first impression of her, and Taylor barely said goodbye to me as she played with the other two little girls that were there.
At work, I was reassured that I wouldn't be the one to leave early, if there was leaving early to be done, and I began the day feeling much better. It was busy, for sure, but a good and smooth pace ensued and before I knew it happy hour was upon us. As I knew it would, we slowed quite a bit at around 2 and I got to thinking about Thursday with a touch of dread.
Around this time, a keg blew and I was running long on a dessert. I went to check on the dessert to find it sitting in the window, ticket laid under it waiting to be taken. I lost it a bit, because the food runner was right there filling up the condiments. She thought it had been taken care of. I went to change the keg while she scooped ice cream to take the dessert to the guest at the bar. As I changed the keg, I tapped it incorrectly and beer went all over me. My face, hair, neck and chest were covered in beer. It had sprayed in my eyes so I couldn't open them for a second and so I stood there, laughing at myself and dripping beer all over the cooler.
I gathered myself together, wiped off the beer and made my way back to the bar. The guest happily indulged and the food runner told me that the server that was supposed to take the dessert said that I should be able to run my own food. I smirked and thought about what I was going to say to her when she came to get her next drink. Technically, I am not supposed to leave the bar. Also, don't say you are going to do something, and then not do it or not tell anyone you didn't do it. The only person who really suffers is the guest. And the guest is my business, and that's not alright with me. She screwed with my business and my money.
So, when she came to get her next drink, as I was making it I said calmly, quietly but sternly that because of her, my guest's experience had suffered and that I didn't appreciate her laziness and smug attitude about knowing my job so well. She played dumb, of course. When she walked into the kitchen (directly behind the bar) I heard her yelling. Servers began to come out, wide-eyed, and looking at me. Some came over and laughed, asking me what she'd done and why she was yelling about being dimed out to me. I guess she was asking who told me that she'd done that. After her tirade, she went to cry and I didn't feel bad.
Rarely, if ever, have I made someone cry (other than Dana, as an evil older sister when I was much younger) and not felt awful. This time, she had made her own bed. I wasn't insulting to her as a person, nor was I mean in the way that I let her know I wasn't happy with her behavior. If she didn't want to be called out on not doing her job, she should have done her job. Either way, it was a very trying day and I was definitely ready to leave when my time to leave came.
I picked up Taylor, who had refused to nap but was in good spirits nonetheless, and we headed home. She'd done well, and really enjoyed the girls and the puppy.
In the car, I decided it was sushi tonight, mostly because I was so emotionally and mentally drained. As I pulled upto the sushi place by our house, I glanced in the backseat to decide if she could handle a restaurant or if take-out was a better option. She was totally out, mouth hanging open and almost snoring. Take out it was. I ordered quickly, happy that the entire place was one big window and I was parked right in front, and asked them to bring it to the car so I could wait with her.
My sushi and mongolian chicken was great, and it was odd to eat it and have Taylor upstairs snoozing away. I went up to her room at six, so I could wake her up. I entered quietly, and went over to the bed. I started to take her boots off (I'd left them on for fear of waking her earlier) and this stirred her. She seemed definitely not happy about being woken up, and was trying really hard to open her eyes, but they didn't seem to want to cooperate. Poor, exhausted baby.
Eventually, her mind won out over her eyes and she climbed into my arms to cuddle.
That was when it started. She was beyond cranky. Downstairs, I tried to offer her some dinner and she threw the biggest tantrum I've ever seen her throw shouting about wanting "nack!nack" (snack) when she saw the bag of marshmallow candies that grammy had sent. She was literally walking around the house cry/yelling. It was strange, like an angry snarl that sometimes turned into a yelling about something or a throwing of oneself onto the floor or some real actual crying. This lasted for the next hour, and no answer I offered was right. I set her food and drink on the coffee table for her to nibble on if she so chose, and went about wrapping presents. She was distraught. Throwing herself at my feet, and angrily crying at me, she gave her best attempt. I remained calm, and explained that I understood how she felt, but she didn't want comfort either.
Poor thing.
Eventually, I won by offering yogurt and we sat on the couch while I fed it to her. Occasionally, she'd get up and walk around crying for a minute. But, eventually, she'd come back for more sudu. After the sudu, we cuddled for awhile. Finally, it was late enough for a bath and upstairs we went. Seeming to be in better spirits, she puttered around while I drew her bath. All went well, until I had to cut her nails after the bath. She fought and fought, but I won (mostly). It's no professional manicure, but at least her nails aren't talons anymore. She relaxed quickly with her bobble (bottle), and attempted no protest when I placed her in her crib and told her "night night".
It feels like today was definitely a challenge in assertiveness, and going with the flow...two things I'm not great at; but getting much better with each day. I feel like if today had happened a year or two ago, I wouldn't have handled it so well. I'd probably be crying in frustration right now, feeling self-pitying and victimized. Instead, I feel a fight in me that I never knew I had. Yeah, that's right. I'm bad. Be scared, very scared.
Tomorrow is a new day...tomorrow is a new day!

14Dec2009 - Day 129

Oh, heavenly snow day! I woke up, to icy streets and half covered in ice/snow grass. I checked online for the Little Gym number and called. Happily greeted by a message that explained that the gym was opening two hours late, like the Puyallup school district, I cheered for not having to rush to get there. While Taylor puttered around, eating breakfast, throwing toys about the entire downstairs and occasionally checking in on Disney Playhouse on TV, I coveted the extra time for wrapping presents that must be sent to Maryland.
Gift cards, next year. I swear it!
We scooped up Sabrina, grabbed her a coffee at the stand near their house - as per our usual Monday morning M.O. At the Little Gym, we walked in to a lobby of children that looked just a little bit too old to be in Taylor's birdies class. The instructor we usually had looked up from the desk and informed us that two hours late meant that they started with the class that began two hours late. Oh, well. I really found the message unclear on that. To my ease of mind, there was another girl and her parents that came as well. At least I wasn't the only idiot. We attended the beasties class and it was great. The kids were 2ish and full of energy, bounding from one thing to another, listening and understanding the instructor, jumping and running. It was cool. Taylor loved the energy level. They pulled out this huge inflatable thing, and all the kids piled on top with the instructor. Taylor spent her time running as fast as she could until she fell on her face, giggling, and then doing it all over again. The best part was when the instructor had all the kids jump. Oh, hilariosity! Of course, Taylor can't jump yet. But did that stop her? No way, Jose!
Her entire body jumped, except her feet. She looked more like a headbanger, baby mullet flying around behind her head as her arms flailed futilely and her body dipped and and rose with such intensity it looked as though her feet might just leave the ground. Alas, no. They did not.
Sabrina and I were laughing so hard, we almost cried. (Later, at the Delmos we got some of these antics on video, but the fervor wasn't quite as intense as the Little Gym.)
That night, we had dinner at the Delmos with Mom Delmo and her Rick. She loved Taylor, and had a great time. After dinner, due to a shorter than usual nap, Taylor was super duper cranky. No one would do but mommy, which was to the disdain of Aunt Sabrina and Uncle Delmo. Sabrina thought it was spoiling her to give in to her request for me "every time." LOL. I don't get angry when she reacts with intolerance to Taylor's behavior, I just hope that they read and learn about child development before they have a little cranky pants 17 month old of their own. I don't believe that by granting her request to cuddle with me when she's exhausted, I am spoiling her. If she were very clingy, antisocial or scared regularly, I'd be concerned. But, she isn't. Sometimes, you just need your momma.

13Dec2009 - Day 128

Sunday. Went to lunch with Rylee, which was awesome! We missed her yesterday on our Rylee day. Taylor wasn't on her best behavior, but also not her worst. Afterwards, we went home for naptime and then as Taylor was waking up and we were getting ready to get into the car for the commissary...it started to snow!
She saw snow last year, but obviously, not really. This was the first time she'd seen it. It was super adorable because she seemed really fascinated for a few moments by the huge fat flakes slowly drifting down to the ground and then proclaimed, "Bubbles!" Love it!
I taught her how to catch them in her mouth, which I think she really didn't get, but liked to stick out her tongue. We saught refuge from the deluge of flakes in the car, and off to the commissary we went.
It was packed, as usual. But, we managed to get all the baking needs on our list and made our way to checkout. As per her usual proclamations, everything in the produce section was an "apple" and the rest of everything in the store was "mine." She is really turning into quite a proclaimer. Everything. Is. Taylor's. (In case you weren't sure, I thought I should clarify.)
It was still snowing when we emerged from the commissary, and I drove us home enjoying the flakes seemingly flying sideways at warp speed into the windshield.
At home, it was a flurry of baking and cranky baby insisting on being involved in every single step of the process. Needless to say, the kitchen ended up quite trashed and a few cookies made their way into greedy toddler hands and then mostly Sadie's mouth.
I had Taylor standing on a chair to help me, which seemed to go well until I had to move about the kitchen. She'd fuss if I didn't drag the chair and bring her along with me. It was great except for the dishes part. Hands sticking into the sink, pulling things out. Oh, toddler child. How I long for the day when you sat in your bouncy chair watching me contentedly from the counter, no idea that you could reach out and grab anything...
I ended up cleaning up, and working on laundry until 1 in the morning. Oh, holidays. How I long for the day when I was so young and they just seemed to make themselves happen!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

12Dec2009 - Day 127

Oh, my aching, pounding headache...I don't know what it's from; but it's been plaguing me since...the Imagination Movers concert. lol. I have to say that there were definitely a few things I hadn't counted on in regards to the concert. One: It was really really loud. At the beginning, it really scared Taylor and she cried when there were even louder, abrupt noises. It took quite awhile for her to enjoy the noise. Two: She didn't really get it. I don't know if she was a touch to young to put together that these extremely loud people were the same ones that she danced to at home.
With all the noise, and the lights and people; she did spend most of the concert with fingers in mouth and sitting on my lap. It was only when I discovered that she could sit next to me on the aisle step and really bop and have fun, that she started having fun. She really got into it, and scooched her way over to the girl (about 7? at most) across the aisle to cozy up next to her and make friends and dance.
I definitely had a blast, and would totally do it again; especially since it seems the prime age was 3-6 as far as the enjoyment level of the other kids I saw. There were lots of children that were Taylor's age; most of them equally as distraught at the beginning as she was. On a plus note, I got a parking space on the very corner that the theater was on and the machine was broken that was supposed to take our money to pay, so I parked for free. As we were leaving, however, there was a guy walking around ticketing cars. But I hightailed it out of there as quickly as possible.
After the concert, we went to eat at Panera and hit up the Nordy's Rack and Kohl's at Southcenter. Panera went well, and Taylor was famished from all the chaos and crazy dancing in the aisle, so she ate her mac and cheese without hesitation. Nordy's had nothing we were looking for, so then we headed to Kohl's. As we were walking in, I in my heeled-over-the-skinny-jeans-boots, carrying Taylor and her backpack diaper bag, attempted to quickly scurry over one of the parking lot "islands" and failed. I was holding her, and as I stepped down to the pavement to cross over to the store's entrance, I fell. I didn't fall quickly, or easily, or painlessly, or gracefully. I fell in slow motion, as my ankle gave out and left knee hit first, attempting not to drop Taylor in the middle of the road, fighting the whole way down not to actually fall down. But no. She was fine, but I fell on both knees, and the backpack went flying. It was awful. And it hurt. There was a car coming, and saw me fall. All I got was an impatient "go ahead" wave. What a douche. Humiliated, I hobbled into the store with my left knee more than aching. Upon further inspection at home later, I discovered a huge gash on it and some blood on the inside of my almost ripped apart at the knee jeans. What a spill! Inside, and on a mission to buy shoes that didn't make me bite it (which I found none), we made our way to the baby section. Jumping beans, a brand carried only by Kohl's, was on sale. They are super cheap ($4.99 per piece) and are a huge section of interchangable leggings, jeans, tops, and fleeces. I love it. It's the perfect stuff to send her to daycare in. She is growing out of all of her 12 month clothes, so she was in need of some new pants. Satisfied with our purchases, and having difficulty walking; we left and proceeded to Target. A few undisclosable-on-the-blog gifts later, and scalding bottle in hand (thank you Starbucks for the hot water), we sat in the car in the Target parking lot for awhile while the bottle cooled. I opened it up, and held my hand out of the window. 38 degrees outside took about ten minutes to get the bottle to drinkable temp before we headed home.
I feel like today was about learning. I learned not to wear heeled boots for shopping. I learned that Taylor is a little too young for some things, and to relax and enjoy the age that she is. I learned that I am too old for such loud concerts. Lastly, I learned that grand marnier is a great headache taker-away-er. =)

Friday, December 11, 2009

11Dec2009 - Day 126

Ah, the Phineas and Ferb christmas special playing in the background. The fireplace warming the house. The gifts sitting on the counter...unwrapped and refusing to wrap themselves. Ugh.
I hope a lot of things for Taylor. And some of them are selfish. I hope she feels certain things about me when she's older. I picture her talking to her friends in college, over coffee at some patchouli and coffee smelling coffee shop near her campus during December finals. I picture them talking about their homes during the holidays, in anticipation of coming home for Christmas. I hope there are certain things she says about me, with love and respect and admiration. I hope that when I bake cookies every year, and make brunch on Christmas mornings that she remembers that with nostalgia. I always remember the jammies on Christmas eve, the sausage and cheese biscuits for breakfast, Mom and Scott waking us up at 5 am when we were older and wanting to sleep in, calling Uncle Bill every single year at the crack of dawn and waking him up, the fruit at the bottom of the stocking that no one ever ate or wanted, the awesome amount of baked goods that mom whipped up for an entire month, how there were always piles of presents, even during a "hard" year, the fact that she always gave presents to her coworkers and really took time to think of good ones...
What will Taylor remember about me? What will our traditions be? Will she think wistfully about homemade eggnog (dare I try it? lol), or the best french toast casserole for brunch (her gram's recipe), or those delicious cinnamon nut diamonds (her nanny's recipe), or that rich and delicious fudge that her grammy makes? Will she remember daddy and Uncle Delmo watching the Christmas Day football game? Will she think of driving around and looking at the christmas lights? Whatever it is, I hope that Christmas for her is everything that it is for me. I hope it holds all the magic and wonder and joy for her that it does for me. I hope it's about so much more than what she gets from Santa.
I have always been a person that looks forward to things, that gets excited a lot. With Taylor in my life, that feeling is truly multiplied by a trillion. I really look forward to this Christmas with her, and the next one, and the next one....Every day is magical and a new opportunity to make memories. Every day is truly extraordinary with her. I can't wait for Adam to come home and be able to experience the every day. For now, to him, we are just this fantasy. We are his family a billion miles away, and we are idealized. But, don't worry baby. The sticking of hands in toilet water and then into her mouth (like this morning), the tasting of dog treats before handing them to Sadie, the downright throwing of herself onto the floor in protest of water going into her juice cup...it's all going to be great. And frustrating, all at once. Just thinking of her awkwardness in trying to fit herself in between the legs of the stool and getting stuck, and walking around in just one of my heels on the wrong foot, and dipping her spoon into yogurt and then chicken soup all in one bite and thoroughly enjoying it...the stuff that dreams are made of....

10Dec2009 - Day 125

Still working on a lot of my presents, which I won't get into details about in here in case some of the recipients are reading the blog. I doubt it, but I wouldn't want to ruin their presents. Let's just say that every year seems to get more and more involved. Projects, christmas cards, pictures, wrapping all the crap I bought, shipping it (or packing it) across the country. Every year I swear off actual gifts and say I'll only get gift cards next year. But, I truly enjoy trying to find good gifts for people. I don't think I've ever been a good gift giver, so I'm trying really hard to become a giver. Perhaps, I've always been more of a taker? I don't really like that, and would rather be known as a giver. I really want to get things people like.
It all started one year with my gift for mom. It was a disney snow globe. I thought it was the cat's pajamas. I thought she'd love it, because when I'd lived with her she'd been obsessed over them. But, as she opened it, she looked as though she was going to cry. I could read the dissappointment in her eyes. Her eyes were crying out "She doesn't know me at all!" She never said anything, but I know she hated it. She hadn't been into those in years. Since that moment, I've never wanted to see that expression again. I was devastated. It was a horrible gift, and I never want to give a horrible gift again. Mostly, I was really upset at how it made her feel.
So, this year I've sort of agonized and tried to pay attention really closely to what people are saying that they want. And of course, who is the most difficult one? Who is the only one who doesn't want anything? Mom. But, I've got a great idea that I hope she truly loves. I know she hasn't grown out of this gift yet, and probably won't for some time!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

9Dec2009 - Day 124

Today was the day after the memorial at the Tacoma Dome. We were super slow at work yesterday because of the memorial, kind of the opposite of what the managers thought we would be. But, I knew today would be different. And it was. We were slammin' busy. It was great. I now remember why I like bartending, and why I was so looking forward to December. It's great to be right next to the mall, too. Not for my own personal shopping, (which is funny because I rarely ever shop at this mall), but for the convenience of weary (mostly men) shoppers in need of a shot. I had two guys that were shopping today. They were sitting at the bar five minutes before we even opened, and ordered....two shots of peppermint schnappes. LOL. Two guys ordering schnappes? Hilarious. But the fact that they ordered peppermint to what? Put them in the shopping mood? Who knows why, but it amused me. Then they left and went shopping and came back for more schnappes and lunch later on. Funny thing is, they are not the only guys this week that have spent, what I would consider, valuable shopping time sitting at my bar. Most come out with as many bags as I do in a seven hour stint, which amazes me. Either way, I'm glad they chose my bar to sit and pretend to their wives that they are really shopping.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

20Nov2009 - Day 105

Call it retro-blogging, if you will. Updating the blog, oh, several weeks later.
Details get fuzzy, but the main ideas are still there.
Today TWILIGHT DAY!!!!! I woke up, anticipation already building in my stomach. I get these crazy butterflies and ridiculous anxious excitement pretty much anytime there is something to do outside of the normal routine, and today was not exception. I had to work, which was almost torturesome because it was TWILIGHT DAY!
At work, I put a note up, as I do daily about what we may be out of- for the servers reference. To today's note, I added...."Two Words- NEW MOON!" It was great, because another server and I bantered back and forth, via notes, about the movie. She is not a twilight fan. If I didn't already know and love her, she'd be out of my life for good based soley on her twi-jection. lol
After work, the crazy mad dashing around began...leave work, get taylor, get home and get ready, get taylor fed, get to Rylee's mother's house in Puyallup...it took longer than I thought because the Delmos forgot the playpen at their house. So, I stopped there to get it. Finally, we arrived at Bonnie's house. Her house is decorated in a sort of shabby chic country antiquey look. It's not my personal style, but only because I have no skill. She refinishes furniture, and is uber crafty. Her house is truly amazing. It's beautiful. Every detail is there, even down to the toilet paper holder in the bathroom. There are lots of different textures, knick knacks, lighting levels and sources, shelves full of unique things. Taylor was in heaven. She loved it. She'd stand in a room and just look around for ten minutes before even figuring out what to go touch. She took to Bonnie quickly, and we were off. A fun-filled, anxious hour in the car later, we were in Redmond. We met a few friends for dinner, Nichol, and Brit that I'd worked with at Bahama Breeze. For dinner, it was them, myself, Sabrina, Delmo, Rylee, and Clara; but Brit and her boyfriend (can't remember his name) left before the movie. We walked over to the theater, as they shared a parking lot. It was gorgeous inside.
As you walk in, there is a counter; more like a hotel concierge than a movie counter. No cheesy windows or machines spitting perforated tickets at you. To the right of the counter was an enormously large lounge area, complete with very modern decor and leather couches and a fireplace. On the left of the ticket counter was....ta-da! My movie raison d'etre! THE BAR!
Also beautifully modern, it was my first stop after the ticket counter. At the counter, I was checked in and after my credit card was taken for my tab for the night, we were escorted to the theater. The drinks that I'd ordered at the bar would follow us in!!!!
The usher sat us in our seats, and offered us a blanket and pillow, showed us where the call button was and explained how to recline our overstuffed, super comfortable and luxurious leather recliners. This was pure bliss. My $11 espresso martini arrived shortly after we were seated. Sabrina and Delmo had given me a gift card for drinks while we were there!
The movie was phenominal, made better only by the fact that I was so comfortable and a lemon meringue pie martini and banana cream pie martini. They were all unbelievably delicious.
I think this place will be my heaven when I die. I truly could not have asked for more. It was pure pampering and everything I wanted for my birthday. I'd hoped for a great drink menu when we arrived, and was truly not dissapointed. There is nothing I love more than sampling a few delicious and creative martinis. It was possibly the best birthday idea I've ever had. And, as infrequently as we go to the movies, it was totally worth the trip. The movies are now an adult oasis for me, an escape from Disney channel, poopy diapers, newly found ways to scream at innappropriate times...I appreciate fully that this theater has me in mind! No children, specialty martinis, over the top service and decor. I love it. Happy Birthday to me! and Happy TWILIGHT DAY!

8Dec2009 - Day 123

Well, it has been awhile. I will go back in and fill in the missing (vacation) days as I can. I am seriously going through blog withdrawals!
I'll start again as though it wasn't like a hundred days since I've written. Although, even as I write that, I am finding it hard to do that.
Not to mention that I am easily being distracted by Shark Boy and Lava Girl on Disney channel...left on from when miss wubba mayter was awake.
That, and I am looking up holiday cookie recipes...Oh, thank heaven for foodnetwork.com. Here are a few examples of why christmastime is the best time:
eggnog pie, nutella tart, peppermint bark brownies, chocolate cloud cake, limoncello cheesecake squares...need I go on? Oh, an apparently you can make eggnog from scratch. hmm. you learn something every day! Perhaps, I will try it.
I've accomplished a lot of the typical holiday tasks...I have done most of the shopping, filled out and addressed all the cards, semi-decorated the house...with newly purchased decorations of course because I really have nothing considering we haven't had a christmas here in like five years. I think I've decided that Santa will be coming to Uncle Delmo and Sabrina's house this year, because I know that on christmas morning when we wake up at home it will be great for about five minutes and then I will get really lonely and rush us back over to the Delmos anyway. Besides, that way he can be downstairs to videotape her reaction for Adam.
Speaking of which, Adam now has skype and calls me from it. They have the internet in their rooms. I even get texts from him, which is him emailing me. He sends emails to my cell number with his skype. So now, I can send him the daily Taylor picture texts! It's much better for me now that I can communicate with him. I feel like I've let a lot of anger go about everything, and a lot of worry about our reunion. Being able to talk about our expectations and negotiate things with him now is much more stress relieving than having to do it all at once when he's here.
I am also trying to decide what sort of traditions I'd like to start this year for Taylor. We always got christmas eve jammies, and I love that; so I'll do that. I plan on baking a lot, too...just like my mother did. But no coconut strawberries or fudge. Those are her things. I'll have to come up with some of my own recipes. I will make a hearty breakfast for everyone on Christmas morning, complete with various recipes from all my moms. Other than that, I got nothin'. Next year, it will be easier with Adam here. Perhaps we'll have a certain family activity that we do on Christmas Day. Who knows. But, I am looking forward to having a christmasey home and also kind of sad that we won't be with the family.
Honestly, though, with Pepeir gone and everyone's plans all up in the air I don't know what kind of holiday celebrating they'll do. No one is making plans, not any concrete ones, anyway. I know they'll all end up getting together; but it's weird that it isn't a certain thing. I feel like a few of us are glue. A few of us are the planners, the bringer togethers. Without those around, it's very different. Am I glad to not be home on this first Pepeir-less holiday? In a guiltily admitted way, yes. It will definitely be tough, for everyone. Awkward, almost. Uncomfortable. But, I am also not glad to be gone. I feel like the family needs me, to help them come together. I always insist on big family celebrations, much to the supposed chagrin of everyone. I know that sometimes they don't mean it, and sometimes they are truly scrooge mcduck. But, I hope that they'll all find a way to get together this year, and maybe make a new tradition. Unfortunately, I think that the new tradition will be not getting together. We are spreading farther and farther away, and tensions are still high from the emotional strain and stress of the last few tough months. Perhaps, a break is even healthy for everyone to regain their desire to be a close family.
Who knows. It will all play out somehow. But, I will still send my little bit of cheer the way of the east coast...in the form of presents, of couse. And Taylor pictures.